I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How's work?
Spinning.
You're like the curious george of whores
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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