Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
