I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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