she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
