The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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