I heard we made out
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
