Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
