Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
