The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
