My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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