Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
