Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
