my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
