and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
sex in a hospital.. check
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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