bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
