...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
