Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
