i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize