I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
