Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
