Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
All the doctor said was why
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
