Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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