singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Randomize
