Can Purell be used as lube?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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