I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
