just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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