i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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