Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
