Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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