i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
