Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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