please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
