wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
