My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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