I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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