I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I love you. Go after that dick
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
