no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
foreskin is a definite game changer
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
