I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
