Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
