If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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