he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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