Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
