hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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