do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
a search helicopter?!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
