I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
