i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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