what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
