I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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