I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
