just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
